Strong Traditions, Strong Families
I’ve been watching the students in our school this past week get ready for the holidays. I have heard them tell each other what their families do, where they go, who visits, and what they eat. They have amazing memories with very specific details. They remember all about their traditions and the specific details of each one. As I’ve listened to them share with each other, it occurs to me that their memories, and the traditions associated with them, are a very important part of their growing identities. They take pride in them and, as a result, in themselves.
For our children, identity comes in stages and spurts. For most of their childhoods and adolescence, they spend a lot of their time accepting the identity that comes from the people who raise them. Those are the people who decide what traditions the family will celebrate and how they will celebrate. Children then grow up with emotions around those traditions which helps solidify them within their identities. When we start traditions in our families, we make conscious choices about what we like, what is important to us, what values we hold dear, and who should be included in our celebrations. Our children take all that on and fold it into how they see themselves. Strong traditions help children understand that, at certain times, the family all comes to together to express joy and love and belonging. It adds another layer of stability which, in turn, helps them grow their confidence in the world.
In addition, holidays are opportunities to help our children develop a “feeling” for others. They are vehicles which help them remember family stories and relatives or friends who can’t join in the festivities. They are times to reflect on the family values we hold dear. They are times designated for laughing, singing, and maybe even dancing around the kitchen a little. They are times for optimism, positivity, and love – for one another as family. It doesn’t matter how big our families are or who makes up our families. What matters most is that we don’t lose the great opportunity of tradition to make our familial bonds stronger, because the stronger our “feelings” for each other, the stronger our families.
